The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

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The ADHD Effect on Marriage helps couples understand why things never seem to get better, no matter how hard they try - and how to change that, not by "trying harder," but by "trying differently" so they can renew their love and joy. Research by social psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron suggests that in established relationships, simply spending time together isn’t enough to reignite warmth. What couples need is new, exciting activities that provide just the right amount of challenge – like going on a bike trip or taking a course together. Learn more about adult ADHD. Learning more about your partner's experience will help you have more empathy and patience.

I got through it fine. But I've also done a decent amount of work on myself in this area before listening to the book. Even with that, the general tone throughout the book was still very difficult at times.Why wait until your therapist tells you to buy this book? Buy it now and save yourselves a lot of pain and money. This book will help you to make your ADHD marriage work better so you can both have a happy, healthy lifetime of love." Step 5: Setting Boundaries and Finding Your Own Voices - using your "best self" to reinvigorate your life (p. 187. Audio 8. Kindle loc. 3112) Help get this into the hands of young people, and some inexpensive way for average folks to be personally guided, as books and ADHD often don't mix well. Thank you, also, for your teleseminar, Melissa. It was well done. I may retrain to assist in this field, seeing the huge need.

Not quite finished yet, but I highly recommend this book to any couples who have or suspect they might have ADHD affecting the relationship. This book is a must for you. So much of what I read was spot on scary. But after scary, there is hope because she gives several ideas on how to best handle your relationship with an ADHD spouse. Read it and weep, and laugh." The first half of the book felt super repetitive: wives, you shouldn't nag your husbands and make sure you exercise and get treatment for your likely depression (and don't try to compensate for your husband or treat him like a child); husbands, make sure you exercise and take your meds and get therapy. Melissa Orlov is the founder of ADHDmarriage.com, and ADHD & Marriage Consulting. She is also the author of two award-winning books on the impact of ADHD in relationships - including The ADHD Effect on Marriage (rev. 2020) which in 2023 was called 'the relationship bible for couples impacted by ADHD' by ADDitude Magazine. A marriage consultant, Melissa helps ADHD-affected couples from around the world re-balance their relationships and learn to thrive through her seminars, books, and consulting. She teaches mental health professionals how to work with couples impacted by ADHD and leads a team of consultants who specialize in this field. Melissa blogs for PsychologyToday.com and at www.adhdmarriage.com, where she hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in relationships. She has been interviewed by many, including the New York Times, CNN, Today, and US News and World Report. You can find her at ADHDmarriage.com. Beth starts by asking Alex if they can have a learning conversation about something that’s bothering her. She then shares in about 100 words what’s weighing on her, like “I often feel hurt by things you blurt out at me.” When she’s finished, Alex then repeats in his own words what he thinks he’s heard, without adding any of his own thoughts. Beth then confirms if he’s heard right. If not, they’ll try again. Thirdly, I had a friend of mine with ADHA listen to some of this book with me and he was really put off by it. He agreed with me that it sounded like the author was treating people with ADHA like they were children. He also felt like the people and relationships that the author was highlighting were really severe cases. As an individual with ADHD (severe enough that he was diagnosed as a child) he only mildly identified with the stories that the author was highlighting. He felt that most of what was being said was pretty severe and as an individual with ADHD he certainly didn't want people to associate the individuals that the author highlighted (they seemed pretty dysfunctional to him) with himself.Regardless of who has ADHD in your relationship, the best way to break this cycle is to direct your focus onto yourself and set personal boundaries. These are values or behaviors that are absolutely essential if you want to be your truest self. Will help validate and clarify relationship struggles. It will help clarify that you’re not crazy as the none ADHD spouse Why should you read the first? Because about 90% of “The ADHD effect on marriage” actually describes abusive behavior. Melissa provides a nine-week couples seminar live by Zoom three times a year (fall, winter, and spring) and in a self-study version the remainder of the year. Regardless of whether you decide to work with the consulting group, we STRONGLY recommend you take the seminar. Past participants repeatedly say the course ‘is one of the best things they have ever done’ for their relationship.

I am so grateful to you for taking the time to write this most important book and then offering this course. For the first time in 20 years my husband is seeing how his ADHD is affecting our marriage and I just feel like crying with relief. He heard you because you so eloquently and compassionately explained what happens for both people in the relationship, it is so clear and precise that there is no denying that these issues exist."This bias aside though, I think this book is both informative and provides great tips for an ADHD-i flicted couple. On the other side of the relationship, the person without ADHD tries hard to adjust to their partner’s unreliable, chaotic tendencies. They saddle themselves with more responsibilities and do their best to let go of grievances. But this leaves them feeling exhausted, resentful, and hopeless. Step 1: Cultivating Empathy for Your Spouse - stories from real life and what they mean for you (p. 79. Audio 4. Kindle loc. 1403)